We've been talking about death in our home lately, and about being healthy and taking care of our bodies.
Now when things stop working, Carmen explains that they are dead (our PVR is slowly dying on us. The DVD player is officially dead, so is the VCR.
Our Tv is surviving somehow, but at 30+ years, can't give us more longer. The car is struggling...something about the transmission, but it's still being kind to us and takes us places :D).
Whenever she is going to eat something she asks me if it has fat, or if it is healthy... now she wants a jumping rope to jump and pump up her heart!!
She asked me why I go running in the mornings and I told her that I had to lose weight because I had a big belly. And she said:"No! you run because you want to get healthy!". And then Evan Jr comes and puts me aside and tells me: "You're not ugly, and you are not fat!"
I wish I could see myself as my kids see me...
I wish I could care less about how much I weigh and more about what kind of message I'm sending my kids.
I wish I could love me more no matter the number on the scale.
I wish I could stop comparing myself and I wish I didn't have to deal with this....
So...
I made up my mind a while ago... I will never, NEVER allow myself to be heavier than what I decided to be the heaviest I can be....and since I am fast approaching that weigh again ( the almost 30 pounds I lost last year are slowly taking their place back in body!!) I will run.
There is no choice. I can't allow myself to stop running. And I'll continue until I go back to my safe place.
In the meantime, I know that when I am done writing this entry, I'll have to get up and I'll have to do it slowly, because my legs have ZERO strength and it is extremely painful to move.... I can't believe I let myself get is such bad shape!!
As a second thought... I might keep writing!! :D
5 comments:
jo peri, que ejemplo! animo! que dentro de nada empezaras a ver los resultados!
your kids are right--you are so beautiful! everyone thinks it about you.
Tia, me parto con tus hijos!! Mucho animo!!
hija mia....de igual manera k te ven tus hijos asi te ve nuestro Padre. Prefiero verte rellenita pero con un espiritu arrollador k delgada y vacia de espiritualidad por dentro!
I have seen pictures of you before I met you (Carmen was already well on the way when we first met on the house boat) and I see you were very gorgeous. But you are really gorgeous now, too! Your kids are right. And probably your belly is never going to be the same. After 4 kids, mine certainly isn't. Its a small price to pay and really, I think what needs to change is the ridiculous idea we have about beauty, not your belly. You really are gorgeous just as you are right now!
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