I think it sucks...

I am on my own... I find it super hard to be motivated to do things when I know I am not going to see my hubby all day.

But somehow, I managed to finish the laundry and make a healthy, nutritious dinner for the kids.

So many times (too many, really) I just make them some sandwiches and send them to bed really early so I can be left alone, my loneliness and I... and I allow myself to miss him for a moment.

And he works next weekend as well!... It is going to be another tiring weekend.

He gets breaks, you know,at work that is.... but I don't!

There was a dad yesterday at the Latin playgroup...and he said his work seemed like going on holidays after having to take care of his two kids that day...

Amen to that!

We asked him to put it on writing... for the record!

Not me...but them

I needed a haircut....but the two Evans got one this morning....

This is how amazingly cute my baby looks!

(I'll get mine done someday... it is flipping expensive and it is as hard to trust somebody to do it! I miss hairdressers from Spain!)

Betty's Bash on "Bee"

Wow!! What a weekend! Evan worked and that makes things crazy!!!

It means a lot of driving back and forth...

He left on Saturday morning and took the car seats... made things a LOT crazier!

Good thing Laura came to the rescue, and did a LOT of driving to made it possible for us to go to the BIG b-day party!

I figured that I can't go to a party and not take pictures.... my sister doesn't like that.

So here.... some party pictures!

The b-day girl...born on the day I got married ( hard to forget!)

And Evan's grandpa's brother.

The ladies...

We took possesion of the couches :D

Evan's cousin Kevin, and Evan's auntie.

The gentlemen...

Jord, uncle Duncan and dad.

They took possesion of the other couches :D

My beautiful baby

My other beautiful baby...

he was all day entertained with the balloons...didn't even eat!

And wore his t-shirt backwards... he has to show the number 8 in the front!!!!

The babies...

The grown up babies...

Delanie's family... well, her and her boys :D

I'm glad we made it.

It was a nice party....

but still, I don't want to get to my 93rd birthday. I hope I don't make it that long. I wonder if I'd really cared when I am 90.... to be that old...

Anyway... it is amazing to me that she's made it.

Happy b-day to her.

I think she loved the party :D

Unexpected ... SURPRISE!

Every time I go shopping, Carmen expects a "surprise"...

But she doesn't only like receiving surprises... she likes to give them too.

On Wednesdays we normally walk to school.

She always picks up rocks, flowers, and things.. I always convince them to get rid of them before getting home, but this last wednesday she kept saying:"They are for my project!"...

I asked her what her project was, but she didn't know at that point.

Anyway... I saw her playing with some stuff but I didn't really piad much attention to what she was doing.

But this is what she made.

I think it is lovely.

I think SHE is lovely.

She presented to me as a surprise.

I love how many times I'm "surprised" by her.

I'm so proud of her. I hope this little thing lasts for years.

It is amazing to me how she perceives beauty.

It is amazing to me how she made something so beautiful out of a rock, a pine cone and a little red wild fruit....

I think it is amazing how I could make something so beautiful as HER!

Push it, push it....

I pushed it hard today.

I ran for 28 min.

And I can actually move during the day. My legs recover fast, I like it.

I woke up a bit late today.

Yesterday Evan had to work so he had the car, but I wanted to go to the baby shower of one of the sisters I visit teach, so got all the kids in the bus.... the ride was a bit crazy. There has been a huge accident apparently and all the lines were crewed up. But and hour and a half later we managed to get there.

My kids were a nightmare at the party.... they got into all the food, made a mess on the floors...oh well, I was glad I went.

There were some sisters there that wouldn't let me take the bus back home. I tried to tell them not to worry, plus my house it is kind of out of the way.... but they manged to get some car seats together and I got a ride home :D

That was very nice.

When the kids finally went to bed I had what it seemed to me to be an asthma attack ( or something of the kind, because to my knowledge I don't have asthma)...

I couldn't stop coughing, and I couldn't breath... my throat felt like it was closing on me. I thought it could have been allergies... but I just had a drink of water, and a drink of milk...

Seriously... I don't know what happened to me. And I saw today it could have been a panic attack, and I have suffered those before, but didn't affect my breathing like that.... so I don't know.

It was very late when I finally fell asleep, and Evan hadn't come back yet :(

I was tempted to read the scriptures after running, but I didn't. I know that if I think I can do that I would let the day take over me and wouldn't have my reading done.... so I read before I went out.

I haven't commented much on my reading lately. I'm going thru Isaiah... that's why.

I'm not that profound yet :D

I had to drive Evan to school today, and then took the kids out for lunch, dropped off Carmen at school, Isabel went for a nap, I made pizza dough for pizzas tonight, talked on the phone to my dad, read a book to Carmen... and I still have some piano to play :D

I'm working hard on it. My hand still hurts from the falling down the stairs a MONTH AGO!

I never memorize the pieces I play, but that was the past :D

I have to push myself....push, push, push....

I feel better after :D

Anniversary...6 unforgettable years!!

Celebration!!!

My anniversary!!! I was so excited about spending a full day on our own!!!(every anniversary there has been a baby I've been nursing so I couldn't leave for so long, or we would have to bring it with).

This year we celebrated adding some new members to our family:

This new camera!!!

( it's the 5th in 6 years.... I am no longer in charge of "taking care" of it....apparently I suck at it!! hahaha!).

I love it.

It is gold, not silver and I love it!

And the most exciting....

Our new TV. We are so excited that every morning the kids can't wait to get up and watch blue-ray movies in our super 46" FullHD TV!

(I am not going to lie... I can't wait to watch The Bachelor, Amercian Idol...the OLYMPICS!!! and of course the Canadiens games on HD!!!)

To star the day off, I went for a run, of course!:D

And then rewarded myself with another treatment of threadding for my eyebrows :D

(Evan says I am getting addicted!!)

We went downtown Vancouver. We had lunch at Shabusen ( japanese food!) and Evan had the korean BBQ ( I don't really like it! I never do!)

(The picture is in the elevator... so ready for FUN and food!)

We had a good time at the at the mall, where we met the Leonard's! ( we had also met Laura at the restaurant!!!)

There was a cool marching band...the kind that play for the football games...it was so fun to watch.

We then went to Chinatown and entered the Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Gardens....they were beautiful. We made good use of our new camera :D

Then...the spinning ones:D

And the one by the clock...countdown to the Olympics!!!!

Is anyone as excited as I am????

27 DAYS!!!15 min... 11 seconds!!!

We were going to go Ice Skating on the out door rink in Robson Sq.... but by then my feet were killing me. The heels, combined with the muscle pain from running, made walking all over Vancouver a bit too painful :S

So we went rented some movies, and then had dinner at a Greek restaurant that I so recommend: FELICO'S. It was soooo good, I couldn;t believe it.

We dreamed about being so rich we would fly to China, only to have real, authentic Chinese food. Or to India, to Thailand, to Mexico, to Greece, to Italy, to Brazil...and of course to Spain!!!

Evan recited some poems he'd learned in his Spanish class. Federico Garcia Lorca, and Antonio Machado... brought so many memories of studying them at school.... it got us talking about our schoold days and our teachers...

We finished the day watching "Seven Pounds"... I fell asleep :S Evan totally loved it.

The next day on our way to Church, Carmen asked:"..... so, how was your date???"

It was REALLY GOOOOOD!!!!

:D

Cheers to us....

6 years down....eternity to go!!

Breaking down.......

We've been talking about death in our home lately, and about being healthy and taking care of our bodies.

Now when things stop working, Carmen explains that they are dead (our PVR is slowly dying on us. The DVD player is officially dead, so is the VCR.

Our Tv is surviving somehow, but at 30+ years, can't give us more longer. The car is struggling...something about the transmission, but it's still being kind to us and takes us places :D).

Whenever she is going to eat something she asks me if it has fat, or if it is healthy... now she wants a jumping rope to jump and pump up her heart!!

She asked me why I go running in the mornings and I told her that I had to lose weight because I had a big belly. And she said:"No! you run because you want to get healthy!". And then Evan Jr comes and puts me aside and tells me: "You're not ugly, and you are not fat!"

I wish I could see myself as my kids see me...

I wish I could care less about how much I weigh and more about what kind of message I'm sending my kids.

I wish I could love me more no matter the number on the scale.

I wish I could stop comparing myself and I wish I didn't have to deal with this....

So...

I made up my mind a while ago... I will never, NEVER allow myself to be heavier than what I decided to be the heaviest I can be....and since I am fast approaching that weigh again ( the almost 30 pounds I lost last year are slowly taking their place back in body!!) I will run.

There is no choice. I can't allow myself to stop running. And I'll continue until I go back to my safe place.

In the meantime, I know that when I am done writing this entry, I'll have to get up and I'll have to do it slowly, because my legs have ZERO strength and it is extremely painful to move.... I can't believe I let myself get is such bad shape!!

As a second thought... I might keep writing!! :D

It feels really good

It feel good sitting in the computer at 9 o'clock, having read your scriptures, havin gone out for a run ( my calves are still burning!), having had a shower, having had breakfast, having the kids all dressed and ready.... ok....the kitchen is still a mess, but I have ALL day to do EVERYTHING I WANT TO ( and some cleaning as well, but oh, well).

Another thing that feels good is finding a good scripture to memorize:

2 Nehi 11: 6-7

"And my soul delighteth in proving unto my people that save Christ should come all men must perish.

For if there be no Christ there be no God, and if there is no God we are not, for there could have been no creation. But THERE IS A GOD, and He is Christ, and he cometh in the fullness of his own time".

Something else that feels good is to have people forget all your faults and only point out the good things about you.

It feels good to have the mother in law that I have. She is the kindest person I've ever met. She doesn't only sees the good in me, but in all people she meets. Nevermind all the things that I do wrong, she will always tell me what I do right. She has sent me a couple emails that I keep reading over and over when I need some uplifting. She has shared things with me that are REAL treasures for me...the kind that perish not.

I hope I can be like her.

It also feels good to hear my dad laugh, and literally see his heart melt when he hears the voices of my kids on the phone. So many times I think he is at the verge of crying... pure joy tears though. It feel so good to know that someone loves my children as much as I do.

My list would go on, and on...

It feels good to think of the things that feel good.

I think I would do this exercise more often :D

Change of lifestyle

We've made our decision.

We are getting up at 6 am, read our scriptures, go for a run and get ready for the day... the kids are going to bed at 8 and we are at going to bed at 10. So please no phone-calls after 10!

Before going to bed, I'm writing 5 things I want to accomplish for the next day. I'm hoping a purpose to get up will help me forget it is soooooooooooooo early!!

It is nice the kids are helping and no one has got up to "disturbed" our plans.

I know it is the 13th...we should have started on the first... but better late than ever!!!

The truth is that we've had a couple of meeting sessions to actually decide our PLAN OF ATTACK!

I am excited about my goals...:D

So....

the scripture of the day ( that I memorized!!! yes, it is that good!):

2 Nephi 10:23-24

"Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that you are free to act for yourselves- to choose the way of everlasting death or the way to eternal life.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and of the flesh; and remember after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved"

Los martes ni te cases ni te embarques

Eso es lo que siempre dice mi madre.... Me pregunto que cosas Carmen recordara de mi.

Carmen esta super mayor. Se ha levantado esta manyana y mientras yo hacia mi cama me ha dicho que fuera a ver su habitacion que tenia una sorpresa para mi: Habia hecho su cama!! Ella solita :D

Ella solita tb habia preparado el desayuno para Evan y para ella. Y al terminar puso ella solita su bol en el fregadero. Ella solita tb se vistio, se peino, eligio su diadema y se lavo los dientes y se puso lipgloss la tia! La pregunte que habia hecho con mi pequenya Carmen, la q me necesitaba para hacer todas esas cosas y me dijo que se la habia comido!!! Q tia!

Esta ya en el momento en el que las Noches de Hogar ya van siendo mas productivas.... y me encanta!

Evan esta hecho todo un picaro. Como tiene la cara que tiene y los ojos que tiene, pues se sale con la suya demasiadas veces y le perdonamos muy rapido las picias... y se esta acostumbrando, menudo es! Super listo.... Todavia se pasa las Noches de Hogar en su mundo, aunque a veces parece que esta escuchando ( eso espero). Hemos descubierto que su cancion favorita es la de "Scripture Power" y lo da todo cantandola :D Incluso Isabel tb se anima...

Isabel esta para comersela. Ya tira besitos y los da super sonoros....es super gracioso. Come solita y no para de comer. Cuando termina simplemente tira el bol y la cuchara al suelo. Esa es la senyal. Parece que por fin la esta creciendo el pelo...HALLELUIA! Y ya tiene 7 dientes. Cuando se despierta y la llevo para que la vean sus hermanos se muere de la emocion de verles. Y ellos tan felices de verla a ella. Me encanta la escena :D

La encanta sacar todo de los armarios, y particularmente la gusta el de mi banyo. Me saca los tampones uno por uno, los desenvuelve y los usa como flauta... asi q si venis a micasa y veis tampones rondando por el suelo... ya sabeis quien es! :D

Estoy super orgullosa de ellos.

Los adoro.

Tengo el flash roto y salen fatal, las fotos, claro... pero asi se ven hoy!

Really???... REALLY!

IF YOU'RE RAISING CHILDREN

BE AWARE THAT THE TINY FINGERPRINTS THAT SHOW UP

ON ALMOST EVERY NEWLY CLEANED SURFACE, THE TOYS SCATTERED AROUND THE HOUSE, THE PILES AND PILES OF LAUNDRY TO BE TACKLED,

WILL DISAPPEAR ALL TOO SOON, AND THAT YOU WILL, TO YOUR SURPRISE,

MISS THEM, PROFOUNDLY"

THOMAS S. MONSON

I already miss so much about my babies baby days.

I wish my eyes were cameras, to capture what I see everyday FOREVER.

There is so much I've already forgotten and I know that the words of the Prophet are so true. (of course....he is the Prophet!).

I found what JOY, what LOVE is through them... I can't believe I am that LUCKY... and lucky doesn't even cut it...not even close.

I love being a mother.

I don't love the messy house, nor the years without a GOOD, UNINTERRUPTED night of sleep( if you know me you know I LOVE to sleep), nor having zero time for ME... but...

will order, sleep, free time fill me the way my kids do??? Will I be who I am today, will I ever be who I can be without my kids???

I don't think so.

So as I said....

I love to be a

MOM!

Una boda y un funeral....

El fin de semana ha estado ocupadito...

El viernes se junto toda la familia en mi casa a cenar. Creiamos q un monton de primos vendrian, pero solo vino un pareja de ellos. Aun asi tuve a 15 ninyos y a 12 adultos.

Mi marido se lo perdio porque le toco trabajar.

El sabado tuvimos el funeral del tio de Evan, hermano de su padre.

Yo le conoci en un par de ocasiones. Su funeral fue muy emotivo. Durante una presentacion en video no pude evitar llorar, y mi pequenyo Evan estaba conmigo consolandome, y el pobre tb lloro conmigo.... no hay que llorar con los que lloran??? Pues un ninyo de tres anyos lo sabe. No me terminan de asombrar. Y que gente no quiera tener hijos... no saben lo que se pierden.

Por cierto, q se celebro en la capilla del recinto del Templo, pero estaba lloviendo a cantaros y no sali a hacer fotos, y ademas tuve q correr con los tres ninyos....imaginaos el meter, sacar, cinturones, peleas...etc con los q tuve que lidiar todo el dia...

Segunda parada... BODA!! De la hija de mi querida familia Slobodan. A ella la queria para mi Victor ( que ella estaba interesada, pero nada....victor la dejo escapar!). Esta bien, porq se ha casado con un pedazo de chico. La familia es genial, asi q estoy super feliz por ella.

Y estaba guapisima!!

Pocas fotos y malas pude sacar poruqe la camara me fallo... no se que cosa rara le pasa ( tragedia!! esta es la quinta camara en nuestros 6 anyos de matrimonio!!) pero aqui van:

Nate y Tania

Paulina, la hermana de la novia...

( q Carmen llamo a su barbie novia Paulina en su honor....mis hijos la adoran!! y yo tb!

Este anyo entra en la Universidad y ha pedido plaza en la que mi marido tb quiere ir!!! asi q se vendra a vivir a Vancouver!!)

Ya se q no so muy buenas... y mis hijos no coloboraban tampoco...y yo salgo fatal en todas y medio vizca mirando al flash porque no funcionaba ....en fin...q mal!

De ahi sali corriendo a recoger a mi marido del cuartel, atravesando todo Vancouver ( el trafico fatal... pero yo encantada! )... Esta ciudad es preciosa y me recordo un poco a Madrid, y la verdad, q estaba super orgullosa de mi, conduciendo arriba y abajo... y sin perderme- las oraciones de Carmen al empezar cada viaje si que funcionan!.

De alli a casa donde ya nos estaban esperando toda la familia otra vez. Esta vez Evan pudo disfrutar de su familia, especialmente de su hermano q habia venido desde Utah.

El domingo me quede en casa... Evan tenia q volver al cuartel muy prontito en la manyana y la verdad q no podia otro dia mas de ninyos arriba, vuelta a casa, a la capilla, otra vez a casa otra vez al cuartel... asi q Evan se llevo el coche.... y yo me quede en tierra.

Me dio tiempo a estudiar las escrituras, limpiar toda la casa y poner cada cosa en su lugar, tb practique un par de canciones y toque el piano. Evan volvio y se echo un poco a dormir antes de cenar y cuando los ninyos se fueron a dormir, nos sentamos a ver : "Dan in Real Life" y me encanto!

Antes de dormir tuvimos una charla muy interesante. Me encanta conocer a mi marido. Esas conversaciones que nos descubren y revelan nuestro corazon... el tipo q hace que nos amemos mas y mas. Me gustan :D

Asi q empezamos otra semana... veremos lo q nos sucede... veremos lo que llegamos a lograr.... y como decia la pelicula:

PLAN TO BE SURPRISED!