I can't sleep at night.
Evan never wants to go to sleep, and he has stopped his naps for some reason!! It is like 11 and he is stilll hanging out with us. I have to go and lie down with him. He tries really hard to get out of bed and he cries and cries and there is nothing I can do to stop him, but he finally realizes ther is nothing he can do either...so he goes to sleep.
Carmen goes to bed after much fighting with her, we finnaly ignore her and she finally falls sleep... not for too long though. She soon comes to our bedrom wanting to come in our bed... NOT HAPPENING!!! It's super hot, my body hurts and I'm not having a little body next to mine. Plus, if I do let her, I have to wait for her to fall asleep and then take her to her bed...( and it is getting harder and harder for me to carry her) and she probably will come out again another 2 times thru the night anyway!
The good thing is that in the morning Evan gets up at 7:30 and if the kids wake up, he takes care of them until he goes to work around 9 so I can get some much needed sleep.
Adding to this, I've been having this nightmares.... about LABOR!! what else!! It is getting closer and closer and I AM NOT READY!!
This is a picture of what my baby might look like...it is at 24 weeks.
And last night I dreamed that the baby went breech last second so I had to have an emergency C-section.... but apparently I was too far dilated so I had to have her naturaly... not even with epidural or anything!!
I was really scared!
I am getting really scared.
Let's hope the third time gets easier...
The truth is that birth is a miracle.... the way I see it is a fight between life and death.... the beauty of creation... your life, the baby's life in God's hands.
I feel He is really present there... the mortal beggining of one of His precious children. Such an amazing moment to be part of. Such an honor to receive such a special spirit in my home.
Such a responsability to raise His child the way He would if He was here.
Truly a MIRACLE!
Evan never wants to go to sleep, and he has stopped his naps for some reason!! It is like 11 and he is stilll hanging out with us. I have to go and lie down with him. He tries really hard to get out of bed and he cries and cries and there is nothing I can do to stop him, but he finally realizes ther is nothing he can do either...so he goes to sleep.
Carmen goes to bed after much fighting with her, we finnaly ignore her and she finally falls sleep... not for too long though. She soon comes to our bedrom wanting to come in our bed... NOT HAPPENING!!! It's super hot, my body hurts and I'm not having a little body next to mine. Plus, if I do let her, I have to wait for her to fall asleep and then take her to her bed...( and it is getting harder and harder for me to carry her) and she probably will come out again another 2 times thru the night anyway!
The good thing is that in the morning Evan gets up at 7:30 and if the kids wake up, he takes care of them until he goes to work around 9 so I can get some much needed sleep.
Adding to this, I've been having this nightmares.... about LABOR!! what else!! It is getting closer and closer and I AM NOT READY!!
This is a picture of what my baby might look like...it is at 24 weeks.In a little more than 3 months she is getting out somehow... some painful way for sure!! So that's what is on my mind day and night!
I dreamed that I had a miscarriage....blood everywhere I didn't know what to do, my mom was there trying to help me , I had this urge to push and couldn't help it... KO's!And last night I dreamed that the baby went breech last second so I had to have an emergency C-section.... but apparently I was too far dilated so I had to have her naturaly... not even with epidural or anything!!
I was really scared!
I am getting really scared.
Let's hope the third time gets easier...
The truth is that birth is a miracle.... the way I see it is a fight between life and death.... the beauty of creation... your life, the baby's life in God's hands.
I feel He is really present there... the mortal beggining of one of His precious children. Such an amazing moment to be part of. Such an honor to receive such a special spirit in my home.
Such a responsability to raise His child the way He would if He was here.
Truly a MIRACLE!
5 comments:
Espero que puedas descansar y que las preocupaciones desaparezcan lo antes posible!! Mucho ánimo que tu eres una mujer muy fuerte!!!
Sí que es un auténtico milagro. Yo lo comparo, aunque en un grado infinitesimal, con lo que Jesucristo hizo por nosotros. Las madres sufrimos para dar vida, como Él...
De todas formas NO TE PREOCUPES!!! De verdad que el tercero va a vernir sólo. Ya lo verás. Lo que has pasado con los otros ya pasó, y éste va a ir muy rápido. Seguro! De todas formas es normal que tengas esos temores y esos pensamientos. Todo se está preparando física y mentalmente, y es parte del proceso.
Parece mentira que ya esté tan formada!!
Pues nada, espero que descanses mejor, y si no aprovecha cualquier momento y cualquier rincón :)
Yo nunca he sido rígida en cuanto a dónde y cómo tienen que dormir los niños y, si te sirve de ayuda, nunca he tenido problemas en ese sentido. Si mis hijos me necesitaban, me tenían y nunca he tenido problemas para que duerman en su cama precisamente porque nunca les he prohibido la mía, si no te prohiben algo no te produce ansiedad conseguirlo y poco a poco la presión se reduce. Además la noche es un momento especialmente vulnerable, a algunos niños llega a aterrorizarles tener que separarse de su madre... son niños y es normal, si se les obliga se acostumbran, claro, pero teniéndose que tragar su miedo antes de estar preparados para elaborarlo adecuadamente y por lo tanto posicionándolo en otro lugar menos tratable.
Si la actitud es nueva puede deberse a la ansiedad que les produce la llegada de su nuevo hermanito (no, no son demasiado pequeños para percibir que tienen que hacer sitio a otro y que tú te preparas emocionalmente para la nueva responsabilidad). Incluso puede que ya empiecen a volver a caer en actitudes que tenían superadas. Dales amor y ten muuucha paciencia.
Además, quizá así te olvides un poco del parto porque, francamente querida, salir va a salir! :-}
Lo que te he contado no es muy "ortodoxo" ahora se lleva más la tendencia conductista de adiestrar a los niños de acuerdo con la conveniencia de los padres ignorando por completo sus necesidades psíquicas... pero ya me conoces, yo soy pelín alternativa.
Como tú dices, son hijos de NPC también,Él te dirá lo que es mejor así como tu corazón y naturaleza de madre.
UN BESAZO
Hija que horror de pesadillas!!!!...pobre!!!!, tia, no lo pienses, que todo va a ir estupendamente...., y ya lo has hecho 2 veces, asi que que es una mas!!!!...???...jejejej, bueno, y a Isabel ya se le ve lo guapa que va a ser!!!
cacho de consejo de alepuz...me encanta!!! a mi sin tener hijos me has dado una gran leccion!! eres la mejor patricia!!!!Esther..ya sabes..ponte pilas!k si ahora no duermes con un tercero?? MENOS!!
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