my baby#4 is no longer with us.
he/she left us without warning.
i went to have my ultrasound on thursday.
i even got carmen out of school early so she could see the baby.
and evan would get to see the baby before leaving.
but the technician there said he couldn't see anything.
so he sent me home, and there was nothing for the fam to see :(
i had never had an ultrasound so early, so we never thought anything of it.
the next day, they called me from the clinic. they had the results and i needed to go see a doctor.
today.
it was weird.
a doctor visit on a sunday.
it left us worried.
evan left yesterday and he was worried.
i went to see the doctor and he was very careful in his words.
i noticed he didn't want to say the words: "missed abortion".
that is what i had.
so i am getting another ultrasound tomorrow and we'll go from there.
but for now.
i am sad.
i got over the fear, the wonder...and got all excited, making plans... and now, i gotta change plans again.
i was late for church. i missed sacrament.
sunday school left me thinking.
sometimes you ask and you don't receive.
it doesn't mean that you don't pray with faith.
sometimes you keep the commandments but it doesn't mean everything is going to be ok.
sometimes you just have something to learn.
carmen was sad to hear the bad news. evan got all upset about it.
"my poor baby brother" he said.
bless his heart, he wants a baby brother so bad.
carmen said she really wanted a baby sister or brother, for real.
bless.
she said we'll just wait for Heavenly Father to send us another one.
and that's exactly what we'll do :D
i went to have my ultrasound on thursday.
i even got carmen out of school early so she could see the baby.
and evan would get to see the baby before leaving.
but the technician there said he couldn't see anything.
so he sent me home, and there was nothing for the fam to see :(
i had never had an ultrasound so early, so we never thought anything of it.
the next day, they called me from the clinic. they had the results and i needed to go see a doctor.
today.
it was weird.
a doctor visit on a sunday.
it left us worried.
evan left yesterday and he was worried.
i went to see the doctor and he was very careful in his words.
i noticed he didn't want to say the words: "missed abortion".
that is what i had.
so i am getting another ultrasound tomorrow and we'll go from there.
but for now.
i am sad.
i got over the fear, the wonder...and got all excited, making plans... and now, i gotta change plans again.
i was late for church. i missed sacrament.
sunday school left me thinking.
sometimes you ask and you don't receive.
it doesn't mean that you don't pray with faith.
sometimes you keep the commandments but it doesn't mean everything is going to be ok.
sometimes you just have something to learn.
carmen was sad to hear the bad news. evan got all upset about it.
"my poor baby brother" he said.
bless his heart, he wants a baby brother so bad.
carmen said she really wanted a baby sister or brother, for real.
bless.
she said we'll just wait for Heavenly Father to send us another one.
and that's exactly what we'll do :D
9 comments:
Animo Esther!
Es un golpe duro, pero mira los tres soletes que tienes contigo!! Centrate en ellos y antes de lo que piensas tendras al #4 ahi con vosotros.
Un beso muy muy fuerte!!!
ay peri....las palabras de carmen al final me parten el corazon...que lista y que especial es...y tu tambien mari...animo y mana te llamo...te quiero!
My virtual hugs and heavenly prayers are with you :)I am sorry you have to go through this Esther.
Chelsea
Por eso mismo acabamos de pasar nosotros, por muy pequeño que fuera ya formaba parte de vosotros y vuestros planes. Animo Esther, abrazate a tus niños que ellos dan mucho consuelo y en cuanto podais a escribir cartas a la cigüeña, y seguro que contesta rapido =) . Un beso muy fuerte.
I'm so sorry to hear that. <3 I will pray for your little family.
Poor Esther!! It's terrible timing, to have to go through that with out Evan! You are such a strong woman, but it's still doesn't seem fair that you should have to go through this right now. I love you and I wish I was there to give you a big hug! I hope the rest goes as easily as it can.
So sorry to hear about this Esther. And, so sorry that your husband had to leave earlier than expected. You are amazing and strong. I hope you know how many people you have that care for you and your beautiful family. Love you!
Muchos besos.
My thoughts echo those that have already commented. A big hug comes your way!
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