Children

My children are 24/7 in my mind.

The ones I have here with me, and the ones that are still to come to my family.

When people see me with my 3 ( very handfull, at times) kids, they think I am crazy, but when I tell them I still want more, they are absolutely convinced that I am NUTS!

For some reason I can't understand, I've always had the reaction from people ( it is painful, i say painful...even more when it comes from people you love). Thank goodness I've always have felt love and excitement when announcing my pregnancies from others around me.

Last April I received unexpected news... I was pregnant.

I wasn't ready.

So I thought.

But I just can't help it.

I love to be a mother and I trust God... so I started getting excited.

But then, I had a miscarriage.

It was more devastating than I thought. 

So since then I've been thinking about my circumstances.

I had to make the most difficult decision I've ever made.

The degree of difficulty increased the intensity of my prayers.

We've decided to use birth control that will stop us from having children for 5 years.

The plan is to have two more after those 5 years... although we might just wait three or four... or until we feel it is time.

There is a part of me that had some shame... and I've been dragging it for a while... until...

General Conference.

Elder Andersen

Here, LISTEN

Nobody designates the number of kids I have to have, or when to have them. That's between me and my husband and the Lord.

He is the only third party accepted in my marriage.

I have learned my lesson.

I didn't wait to have my kids, i had 3 in 4 years.... I didn't care about my career, I only cared about my calling.

I didn't care about money circumstances... I only cared about treasures in Heaven. 

I believe I still care about those same things now that I am waiting to have more children.

Pte Hinckley said: “"Build solid homes. I don't care about the size, I care about the spirit." 

While I don't agree it is to be used as an excuse, let God judge between you and me. And let us raise our kids as the heavenly, chosen spirits that they are.

I always think of how much I need them more than how much they need me... the truth is that I've learned more from them than what I could ever teach them.