Mountains to Climb.... a small mountain, but still... my mountain

what a terrible month i've had.

i've had this internal fight all month. fighting feeling so angry, so demotivated, so frustrated, so annoyed.... so desperate  so sad. ( a lot like how i feel when i'm pregnant. but no, i'm not pregnant!)

it's been a horrible month.

the little things i could brush off and keep going seemed so hurtful.

i've tried so hard to be "presentable" to everyone around me. to give the image of a strong, pleasant person.

but inside it was chaos.

i worry so much about my mother, i feel so powerless....

the one thin that has kept me afloat is reading the scriptures every day. 

i don't know how i would have coped if i had not developed that habit.

well... i think i know i would have ended losing the fight and succumbing into a hole.

a hole of self pity and depression.

i'm so grateful for the power of the word of God.

i'm so grateful for the spirit of God.

i'm grateful for the love of God.

i'm so blessed.

this totally helped me:

i am grateful for the chance to try and try again. 

the many times when i've found reassurance of  my efforts being accepted by a loving heavenly father.

oh, how i live for those moments!

i've had so many people showing support that i almost let it passed unappreciated.

but i'm so grateful for the loving care and concern and loving words that are expressed to me daily.

even feeling so impotent and fearful, i've realized i have to let go of control and leave it in God's hands.

the sooner i let go, the sooner i start to see miracles.

i read once: " When God solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities. When God doesn't solve your problems He has faith in your abilities"

well... it is a true statement.

sometimes it is for me to believe He can do everything and there are times when He believes i can!

either way...we're never on our own! 

i've been looking for ways to earn some money. we thought of a paper route, we got a call back saying they didn't have for us. :(

i've sold some mary kay products that i had left over ( i still have some more, hopefully i'll get something more sold)

i've had no more piano students :( ... but,

.... in the one week where there is nothing but rain in the forecast, evan sold the bike!

just that makes me feel more optimistic.

we have the treadmill we're trying to sell as well, and we're starting to look for gigs for Evan to do in this few months.

we'll be having a garage sale (for the first time in my life!) later on, when it starts getting nicer out... but

if anyone has ideas on anything that could help me please, share!

i'll keep doing my part....and i know He'll do His :)