9 years

It was my anniversary a few days ago.

We had planned to go on a shopping spree to the outlets over at the other side of the border... ( so I got to use my Canadian passport for the first time!! woohoo)  for the day after our anniversary. So the day of, we didn't really have anything special. But, we got to reminisce together of our wedding day.

I just can't believe all that has happened in the last 9 years.

I look at pictures of that day and I so want to live it again.

I look at that girl and I find it hard to find me in her... but how I wish I could be back and be her again.

I look at that girl and I so want to tell her that she's found love. I would tell her to hang on tight to that love...cause it will be a crazy ride.

There will be ups and downs but she's up for the most important part of her life.

I would tell her to hang on tight to Christ and His mercy. That she'll learn that if she lets Him take charge she can do anything.

I would tell her she's the luckiest girl in the world, that she'll have the most amazing kids that will change her life forever.

I've probably forgotten many things about that day, but I remember the feeling clearly. I could NOT wait to start my life with my handsome baby.

I was all in.

All in.

From that moment, till today... I'm still in.

I'm amazed at the live I'm living.

I'm amazed at the love we share.

I love every moment that I"ve laughed, I've cried, I've argued, I've made up, I've talked for hours, I've sat in silence, I've breathed, I've lived... all by his side.

Thinking of the beginning, I'm grateful there's no end to love. There's no end to life.

There's no end to our family.

I wanted to share this video.

I love alicia, I love her voice... I love this song.

Dedicated to my love!

Happy 9 years together!

tender mercies...and other special moments

apparently it's common knowledge in my house that i am a crier.

i remember when carmen was little i would watch "baby stories" and the moment it started she would ask me: mommy, don't cry. and would come and give me a hug.

there is no way i can go through a baby delivery and not cry.

when we are watching movies together, my kids say that i either cry in movies or sleep through them.

anytime i am upset, i cry. anytime i am happy, i cry....

common knowledge.

so i had an experience this month.

i am teaching piano to the sweetest boy. his family is the best family ever.

they are always so nice to me. to us.

the month of December we only had two classes, so when we started again in january, i decided that i wouldn't charge them for that month, that i would never ask them to pay for it.....

first week went by, the second came.... they handed me an envelope. they left. i opened it. there was more than a full month of  classes. i rapidly when out the house to catch them before they left. and  i explained to them that since it was not a full month i didn't want to get payed. and the father said: consider it a christmas gift.

speechless, i enter the house. and you know it, i cried.

when evan came home i told him what happened, what they did. and he said: and then you cried, right?

how did he know? he said i always cry in moments like that.

kindness, mercy, charity....goodness, tenderness are powerful virtues.

i am amazed at the sight of this amazing miracles in life.

i've tried to return the kindness. i always feel i will never catch up.

blessings keep being poured down from heaven through amazing people.

i keep trying , though.

the more i try to do, the more i receive in return.

i just feel so humble to feel that any offering ( as little it may seem to me, or to the world) is acknowledged and counted.

last christmas we talked about not having christmas gift for us, bu to choose a family in neeed and give them presents.

the kids thougth it was nice, they would like to do it. i think it was hard for them to let go of their wants ( they  had some gifts they really wanted and were so excited about) to help somebody else.

i think it is hard for everyone.

but we'll be doing that this year. so i think we'll be having the best christmas ever.

there's nothing like forgetting yourself and tend to someone in need.

so even if i cry, i hope i never become indifferent when good things come my way. when i see kindness around me. even when good things happen to others ( i think some times people can't be happy for blessings that come to someone else than themselves)

i hope i can pass on the tender mercies.

i hope i never cease to appreciate my blessings and i hope i can always feel that God is in the details of my life.

because He surely is.

My list

My list of things to do this year:

As a wife: 

1. I want to have more meaningful dates.

Evan works on the weekends and he can hardly go on dates, but the few ones we have I want to make them special... because getting out with your husband is special, y'know?

whenever we get a chance to get out is normally rushed, last minute decisions ... so I want to have some ideas for dates already prepared and  choose one from the stack... and surprise ourselves :)

2. Appreciate Evan more.

I think that I put so much effort in looking at the negatives, that I don't appreciate the positive. 

Him being gone so much I tend to get used to not include him or even count him in.

I am used to do things on my own, sometimes I don't even give him the chance to do things for me...and when he does I act as if he doesn't deserve any recognition for it...after all I don't get a medal for everytime laundry gets done, or kids are bathed, or dishes are done and food is ready.

But that's wrong! And I have to be better at it.

As a mother:

1. Teach my kids music.

carmen and i have been having some piano lessons. i want to keep it up. and i want to sing with them.... we've thought about doing some recording ..... i'm excited!!!!!!

2. Have one on one time with each of them.

I want to go on dates with them. Evan has got to take them out a few times, but never me.

i took carmen out shopping and we had so much fun... so i want to do more things like that.

I also had a few times where i put them to bed and spend some time talking with them.

i've felt so overwhelmed with joy of having them that brought me to tears. they are amazing... i think i can be a better person if only i had more quality with them and learn of them.

As a homemaker:

1. Be more creative in my meals.

so try new recipes at least once a month!

I'm excited about this one.

2. Create a chore chart.

I've been thinking that 9 years of taking care of everything in the house by myself is enough, right?

So I've been giving the kids chores in the last few months after school.

Now I want to be more organized and make it more fun for them :D

I'm excited!

As a musician: 

( yeah, that's right, I am a musician...a role I had left behind too long ago)

1. I want to record music

i want to record songs with my kids, and with evan, and by myself.

i find really hard to accept compliments about my voice.

but the more i sing, the more i am grateful for my voice.

so yes, i am learning to appreciate my voice, my talent... so without meaning to sound conceited  i want to put my voice out there and give the the recognition it deserves.... starting from none better than myself.

2. I want to sing in more shows.

I've enjoyed so much to sing with evan at some events. and want to do it more... it's gonna take a lot of effort, but i hope i can make 3-4 appearances somewhere this year :D

other aspects of me i'm setting goals in are:

As a president of the rs: here the main one is creating unity in my presidency. I am so excited to start this year with a new presidency. my counselors are fantastic. and we want so bad to take our sisters to a higher level.

we've created our vision of the rs so i'll be working together with them into achieving them. at least in these ones i'll have extra support :D

And in my personal I have things like 1.have a thought book. so i don;t ever forget god's tender mercies towards me. 2. read at least 3 books from my bookshelf. so much knowledge right here in front of me, serving no one but for decorating :) 3. live the golden rule. i realize people come and go from your life and i hope i treat them with love and leave them better than i found them.... i want to be that kind of person :) 4. do something for me. and try really hard not to feel guilty about it. ( this involves service, spiritual progression, health and fitness, hobbies, meditating... maybe working outside the house? maybe look for more piano students, even spanish tutoring?....) and 5. last but not least... this year isabel is going into kindergarten and i want to go to start attending university classes with evan as a listener. i have so many interesting conversations with him about what he's learning that i want to share it with him. that i want in learning! i have not put so much "planing" on this because.....

i think i might go for the 4th baby this year too.... like getting pregnant in september... maybe ;) it just feels so weird to actually plan a baby!! hahaha

my kids are desperate for a baby in the house!

i might wait one more year....we'll see. whenever it feels right.... it's just so exciting to think about having another baby.... but I want to be ready. so maybe this year is to make myself ready :D

whatever this year brings me, i am certain it will be epic!

pres monson said: "your future is as bright as your faith"

so my main purpose is to go on with faith, to work with faith, to keep the faith.... to look to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith all the days of my life.

Happy year everyone!

I miss my dad

He has a reserved spot in my table for him to keep his scriptures, his manuals, his lessons materials, his journal...

what an example!

New Year, New You!

Well.... it's 2013, crazy, right?? Right.

It just means we go on...

I move on...

Past is past, today is today.

I love new beginnings.

I love to think I have a full year in front of me to make of it whatever I put my mind into.

And I love President Monson's words: No failure need ever be final. the greatest blessing of the atonement is the joy of trying again.

Exactly.

"Forever is composed of Nows"

Also the words of President Uchtdorf: We are always in the middle. And these:

"Being always in the middle means that the game is never over, hope is never lost, defeat is never final. For no matter where we are or what our circumstances, an eternity of beginnings and an eternity of endings stretch out before us".

So I've been thinking about it...

All the things that it's about time I accomplish. :D

And it has been a nice few days, getting inspired, making plans, setting priorities, setting goals.

I've had an amazing time.

It's good to reflect on who you want to become every once in a while. Remind yourself of what you working towards to. 

I like that.

So happy 2013!!!

let's make this year our best year yet!!!